The Good, The Bad, The Fan Special Collection
by deathbringer333
Summary: all of the "Fan Specials" in one place :D from my "The Good, The Bad, The " universe of stories Rated M for safety from future Fan Specials
1. Chapter 1

Fan Special!

brought to you by 'void crabs - the only STD you should ever want infecting your personality'

"A Day in the Life of a Minion"

author notes

heyo thunder-thighs! (jking no offense anyone who may be suddenly offended)

Today as my gift to you all: [drum roll] A voidling crabs special! because why would I not involve the cutest of the voidlings creatures in my comedy major void story :D

this may or may not have an impact on the actual story leave a comment in the reviews if you want me to play this into the story or not, today's chapter is sponsored by the following:

Mundo corp: "SLURP- Shoes!"

Diana's moon ray spa: *bad jokes*

Team Battlecast and Team GotDatBooty: "when are we gonna get another chapter Hunter?-" "-shhh when I finish my Zed/Shen skit *cough cough* [its nearly done]"

also sponsored by the following friends and family who have added to my bad jokes:

N0xM3RCYxHD: "Hunter?" "yesssssssssssssssssssssssss" "what the fuck am I reading?" "your mom OH!" "..." "*smiles*" "*facepalms*" "love you too *smiles more*" "love you too now lets get back to playing league and my godly-ness" "*zoidberg sounds*"

Fisher: "Bro-" "shhh I hunting pussy cats" "... Hunter-" "shhh" "Hunter I have a Idea for you-" "shhh- wait oh ok" "do a Yasuo joke" "muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"

Maryiah: "what is dat purple bug!" "thats Kha'zix" "and the black spider?" "thats Elise" "she looks like she doesn't get enough hugs from her mommy" "*breaks down laughing*"

Public Education: "do work" "niez" "come on you know you want to be productive with these study halls" "niez"

* * *

><p>this is my like actual day on a normal basis… help me<p>

also fair warning the chapter's are about to get more spaced out because end of school year and all so on, to compensate I'm gonna raise the minimum word limit from 1.1k to more around 2.5k +, this chapter is gonna be a possibly lengthy one so hold on to your fried shoes everyone we're going for a ride… song lyrics reference anyone? no? fine I hate you all too T^T

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><p>Of all the Void creatures and the few wannabes *cough cough* [fizz, nocturne, etc] The most widely unnoticed was 'void crabs'- Malzahar's personal crab army of OP AD scaling [I been playing that shit], leader of the sub group of Voidlings was 'Gregory' the smartest of the [uh… herd? group of crabs? what the hell are they called actually?- one sec googling… oh a 'cast' huh… guess that's why hollywood actors are so 'crabby' *drums* thank you thank you all I'll be here all week] 'Cast'. The second in charge was 'Jillian' the cutest and Gregory's secret crush [a crab needs love too _], followed by Alen, Frank, Dave, Kassy 3, Malcolm, Erin and Aaron and Auron, Bob, Steve, Timmy, Josè, Derek, Ryan, Nolen, Reginald III, and Xavier [the psychic one]. This 'cast' spent the majority of the time in Malzahar's room or with the other Voidlings in various group activities including the recent picnic or better known as 'The Panic' as it was nicknamed in the Journal of Justice [JOJ]<p>

-Flashback Time-

In the background there is Bandle city on fire with explosions and mayhem on the loose, un on the hilltop where we find the entire Void gang sitting at a picnic enjoying themselves after a long day of 'harmlessly wandering Bandle city and taking in the sights'.

"so should we get going? I mean-" Vel'koz started to ask when he was shushed by everyone.

"shh, just enjoy your food while you got it…, tomorrow we are in for some serious-" Malzahar stated back when an explosion too close for comfort shook the picnic area.

"yeah… ok lets pack up"

-End of Flashback Time-

Today was special, Today was the day of Malzahar's trip to Bandle city to pay the cost for the mayhem that had ensued prior. The special thing about it all was that the Void gang had to all be present except the 'cast' due to them being quote: "mindless vermin" [the summoner who had stated this has not been heard from in a while, I mean how long can one go on 'Vacation'] As a result they were free to do as they pleased for the next 12 hours… what can go wrong with an army of crabs bent on having fun?

"everyone settle down todays meeting is about to begin" Gregory was behind a podium that was about 6 inches tall trying to gather his fellow crabs so they could hopefully organize an eventful day, to anyone but the crabs or the Voidlings they sounded something like this:

"chirp chirp… chirp chirp chirp! chirp chirp? chirp… chirp chirp chirp"

"ok good, so I brought you all here from your various activities today so we can [hopefully] plan out a group event[s]!" Gregory began.

"everyone come write a idea on this white board I 'borrowed' from 'mean-grumby-purple-wizard-guy, and then everyone make a vote on ideas" The whole cast came to the white board and did their best to write ideas down and then vote for others ideas.

-meanwhile in Ryze's 'rift education class'-

The room was naked and tossed around, on the wall where Ryze normally had a white board was a sticky note with the following:

I.O.U. Mr. Purple-Grumpy-Wizard-Guy

"... where the hell did my stuff go?!"

-back to Malzahar's room-

The board was a mess of barely literate Void runes and Valorian script all with the penmanship of a 3-year old.

"so uh… that backfired- wait this one has a credible vote here! Today we are gonna play Rift" Gregory and the gang scuttled out of the room and hurried to Summoner's Rift for some typical shenanigans, as they made their march out they scuttled by many well known summoners and champions including but not limited to:

Faker- they all chirped with excitement around him and gave him praise for being so good.

Morde and Sona- the duo were hand in hand on their way to the outer gardens to relax the day away with each other when the crabs scuttled by and said hello. They both bent down and pet the crabs and said their hellos both being able to understand the crabs due to telepathy [Morde learned from Sona].

Morgana at the Sinful Succulence- Morgana greeted the crabs and gave them a tray of cookies on the house.

-Summoner's Rift-

In a standard League match as you should know is comprised of 5 champions on either side with 4 abilities and 1 passive each, capable to hold 6 items and a trinket, farming minions for gold to gain more prowess. Today Effrem E. Doran (thats the shop keeper's name actually, or at least the old shop keeper) was greeted by a strange sight in front of his weapons/armor shop, in front of him was some of his long time friends from the cast of crabs Malz always had with him.

"ho ho! What do we have here Gregory, long time no see y'all… guess we'll need to get you set up today eyh? Hmm… ok I'm gonna upload some abilities for y'all to use, Grab a temporary item- anything you guys want even a Trinity and the normal stuff before you head on your lanes" EEDoran merely instructed the gang.

Gregory got a Hydra

Jillian bought a Gunblade

Dave grabbed a BT

Xavier nabbed a Frozen Mallet

and Derek obtained a BoRK

"Thanks Effrem! Ok so I'll take top, Jillian go mid, Dave and Xavier go bot, and that leaves jungle to Derek… play it safe till our abilities are updated" Gregory lead the team to their various lanes, they were playing on Blue today so Derek figured red would be a good start. Red buff to anyone who hasn't jungled before or is reading this randomly, is a roughly champion sized melee lizard with 2 caster lizards or ample strength, killing said lizard grants a temporary attack slow and burn effect. This is why jungler's, gap closing AD top laners, and ADC's like the buff.

"so uh… hiya Elder Lizard how are you today" Derek being typical Derek tried to start a conversation with his target.

"... uh boss did that crab try to talk to you?" The little lizard whispered into the Elders ear, all three of them were huddled together very confused by the 6 inch tall talking crab.

"um… I'm… I'm good how are you?" The Elder called back.

"Good! This is my first time on the Rift without our prophet- is that a campfire?!" Derek staggered with big eyes at the fire, he always was a Pyromaniac.

"Yeah.. its a small campfire… because we're a camp… fucking Summoner's" Elder glared at the sky.

"O_O campfire… you know what this means right?!" Derek had a look on his tiny crab face that would suck the soul from any manly man *cough cough, somewhere in the IOW Darius just wet his bed and then shat on it too*.

"... uh boss… he's scaring me-" The little lizard didn't have a chance what followed made the entire jungle tremble:

"Lets gather around the campfire

And sing our campfire song

Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song

And if you don't think that we can sing it faster then you're wrong

But it'll help if you just sing along

Pam Pam Pam...

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song

And if you don't think that we can sing it faster then you're wrong

But it'll help if you just sing along

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song

*the jungle monster's running in horror* AHHHH!

Song! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E...

Baron!

"..."

good

It'll help

It'll help

If you just sing along!

O Yea!"

From Top lane Gregory could hear the faint tone of Derek going on a murderous rampage, Turning back to his laning opponent Zed. From what Gregory could remember of Zed, he was a evil ninja who betrayed his brother and clan for shadow powers which he was using now to jump on his at lvl 3 - Gregory had to think quick all he had to his was a hydra for sustain, and adorableness; I mean there had to be something he could do to win this trade but what? Zed was a loner and grumpy all the time but why would he be so mad… his old group was Shen his brother, Kennen the fur ball of lightning, and - that was it!

"I BET AKALI LIKES YOU!" Gregory called out before curling up for the burst, just as Zed charged at Gregory and shadowed he heard this which resulted in a loss of all focus on his task leading to him to warp in front of Gregory and then fall face first on the ground behind him.

"Ow… *sighs* what do you mean?" Zed pulled himself up to look at Gregory trembling in fear, gently tapping him on the head to grab his attention.

"Uh- I-I-I'm sorry Mr. Zed sir! please don't hurt me-" Gregory still curled up.

"What do you mean Akali likes me?" Zed asked in a very monotone voice as always.

"well uh… I mean she is always looking longingly at you when you walk by her, like a long lost friend - a really close friend" Gregory uncurled slightly.

"hmm maybe you're right actually… ok Gregory lets both back and then not fight till you have your abilities, fair? In return after this game I'm gonna need your help with that akali issue" Zed offered his hand to help Gregory up.

"Deal, thanks Zed… you're not all that bad" Gregory took the help and recalled to base.

Mid lane was having some issues as well, Jillian had been having to fight non other than Diana. Jillian had never met Diana before this moment now, but at this moment she had an undying urge to rip her intestine out and strangle her with them… and that was after the first 3 jokes. Daina's Summoner was apparently a special case of stupid as she waltzed into Jillians tower randomly before he AFKed the game leaving poor Diana to be headbutted in the shins before a tower shot ripped her to pieces.

**FIRST BLOOD**

"I would feel bad for her… if she wasn't the most annoying champion I had met so far" Jillian sighed to herself as Lux showed up mid.

"OMFG YOU N00B KILLING A AFK SUCH A SHITTY PLAY" Lux's Summoner called out to Jillian before spamming laugh… that horrible laugh.

"... I spoke way too soon" Jillian with her left eye twitching walked over to Lux's Tower and casually ripped it from the ground before it shot a single blast and turned to Lux.

"HA YOU'RE A STUPID N00B, WALKING INTO TOWER-" Lux was hit with a 50 ton outer tower at about 70 miles per hour in the face.

**DOUBLE KILL**

Chat

Zed: "Gregory?"

Gregory: "yes?"

Zed: "your _girlfriend_ just threw a tower at Lux-"

**TRIPLE KILL**

Gregory: "Zed?!"

Zed: "*coughing up blood between being smashed by a 50 ton Tower* correction she threw one at me too"

Gregory: "ouch…"

Graves: "Tarnation! that Gal is F%$#ing Crazy-?!"

**QUADRA KILL**

Janna: "Graves! … well shit guess she put him in his place *drums*- AHHHHHHHH"

**PENTA KILL**

Gregory: "... holy… shit…

Bot Lane was slightly hectic for the rest of laning phase, with Dave and Xavier doing pretty decently. Dave realised shortly after Jillian's Penta Kill that his items always returned to him, so he figured he could probably just throw his BT at Graves and then it would return to be thrown again! Xavier just like smashing Graves face in with a hammer so… yeah.

* * *

><p>10 minutes into the game EEDoran came back with good news for the gang, he had gone and set up their abilities like so:<p>

Passive-_into the Void:_

_"Void Crabs are the Larva form of beasts better known as Cho'Gath"_

+1/3/5 stats* (+1/3/5 AD, AP, MS, AR, MR, AS) for every Voidling in a 2500 unit area - stacks 5 times (counts self)

+1/3/5 defenses for every spell castes in a 1000 unit area - stacks 10 times (counts self)

unit kills grant 10/20/30/40/50 hp and 2.5/5/7.5/10/12.5 mana

Q-_Axis:_

_"ohhh so thats what Vel'Koz got his Q from… huh"_

launches a slow moving skillshot that explodes into a 3 pronged projectile

80/100/120/140/160 magic damage per projectile

does 50% less damage to the same target per volley

15/12/9/6/3 sec CD

does not scale CDR, but CDR speeds up the projectiles:

main projectile: 300u/s up to 500u/s

secondary projectiles: 500u/s up to 750u/s

+.7 AD scaling

80/85/90/95/100 mana cost

W-_Relic:_

_"because the last thing these vermin could ever need was a shield- oh shit…"_

casts a shield on self for ONE of the following effect:

blocks 50/100/150/200/250 damage units (defenses do not come into effect) (+.3 AP scaling)

blocks **ONE** projectile (skillshot) and grants 50% AOE defense - last 5 seconds after cast, if no projectile intercepts, grants 50% rebate on mana cost

heals for 50/75/100/125/150 hp (+.5 AP scaling

65/70/75/80/85 mana cost

effect #1 acts if hit by AA

effect #2 acts first unless hit by AA

effect #3 acts on a second tapping of "W"

20/18/16/14/12 second CD

E-_Reverential tides:_

_"yeah maybe we are putting a little too much utility into these little fella's… LOL funny joke am I right?!"_

blinks 350/450/550/650/750 units when moving TOWARDS an ENEMY Champion

OR

grants +30% MS when moving AWAY from an ENEMY Champion

R-_Swarm_:

_"They act in swarms by the millions- catching otherworldly prey without remorse"_

consumes 100/200/300 mana and 2.5%/5%/7.5% of current hp to form a 1000 unit radius Buff:

all **HOSTILE** targets take 5%/10%/15%/20%/25% more damage from incoming sources (+1% per 50 bonus AD, +1% per 50 AP)

all **FRIENDLY** champions and projectiles (ranged AA, skillshots, etc) have their movement speed increased by 50%

all **FRIENDLY** units gain +30/40/50 stats* (+30/40/50 AD, AP, MS, AR, MR, AS)

150/125/100 sec CD

not effected by CDR

each second after cast consumes 25 mana up to a 20 second duration

can be canceled after 5 seconds

**THIS CONSUMES ALL ALLIED VOIDLINGS ****ULTIMATE'S**

* * *

><p>Voidling gang: "... Jesus fucking Jarven..."<p>

EEDoran: "I did good didn't I"

-fast forward to team fight at 22:12-

"ok gang lets do this!" Gregory cried out as he charged into the group, followed by the rest of the gang allowing them to pop their Ultimate all together to unleash a massive combo of abilities. Graves was burst'd before he could even state "Tar-nation", Janna followed soon after while Diana ran in to burst down Jillian and Dave. Gregory followed up by Deleting Lux while Xavier and Derek managed to peel for them. ending in Diana's explosive death which just left-... where was Zed?!

-meanwhile at Blue Nexus-

Zed had gotten the nexus down to 1 hp when they finally noticed he had pushed from top lanes outer tower to Nexus in about a minute.

"so yeah uh... GG Gregory and gang" Zed smirked as he gently flicked the Nexus for the 1 hp, causing a chain reaction detonating the Nexus and winning the game for purple team, maybe he would go ask Akali on a date after this beautiful victory-

**PURPLE TEAM HAS SURRENDERED 4 to 1**

_*everyone is teleported to the Post-game Room*_

"... *eye twitching*" Zed stood next to the exploded Blue nexus with a expression under his mask that would kill at sight.

"AND THAT'S FOR FUCKING MY MOTHER ZED!" Lux screamed from across the post-game room before storming out of the room leaving a very confused group of champions and voidlings.

Graves: "... *throws hands up into the air and walks out*"

Janna: "but-...we...-but-but-but-"

Diana: "fuck this shit I'm leaving... Gregory and Co. you all earned a free trip to my spa on the house c'ya later"

Gregory and Co: "*looks at each other and then back* WORTH!"

*Ryze storm's into the room, foaming at the mouth*: "I FUCKING FOUND YOU LITTLE FUCKERS!?"

Gregory and Co: (Vl_(O~O)_lV) (RUN!)

*insert crazy chasing scene here*

"did we lose him?-"

"HERE'S JONNY- I MEAN RYZE!"

"AHHH"

*insert more chasing here*

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><p>so ... yeah that happened... but as stated before if you all want this to impact the actual story put it in the reviews :D, and next chapter we will get back on track... maybe... just maybe :P<p>

Bai!


	2. Chapter 2

Fan Made Fan Special!

Hiya everyone sorry for the nearly three month delay here... and this isn't even my doing lol

so here today from the mind of a wonderful bud of mine from my "Band of Gaming Brother" comes a quick entry for the fan special by none other then "Tabby" or as anyone who looks in the reviews that awesome guy I met going by "IGN Tabaerius".

so I'd like to give a nice thx to you tabby for not only taking time to write but showing me your better at my job of making puns and references on here :P

without further ado the legend of the unmeta pick Tabby presents: "Viktor Tiki Tiki special" - what I am calling it in the docs

here will be Tabby's link if he makes one

(also expect a lot more wonderful work by Tabby one day, and I shall be posting something soon enough... dat 3 month cliff hanger doe)

* * *

><p>Viktor Fan Special:<p>

Viktor was laying down in his steam boat under the warmth of the afternoon flood lights as he drifted slowly down the convener belt. If you wanted a description of the setting, picture the most relaxing tropical island beach you can think of, and turn it into a sci-fi realm covered head to toe in some metal or another. Viktor took a sip of oil out of his can, and pressed a button on his controller. Full metal tiki heads popped out on either side of the conveyor belt and started humming.

Sing along!

~hoo ha hoo, tiki tiki~

~hoo ha hoo, tiki tiki~

Hey fellas, look, it's Viktor.

Hey buddy, how've you been?

Viktor: Hit it, boys!

Welcome, to Viktor's Tiki

Land!

~hoo ha hoo, tiki tiki~

Welcome, to Viktor's Tiki Land!

~hoo ha hoo, tiki tiki~

You can relax all day, from your Tiki turmoil...

~hoo ha hoo tiki tiki~

Lay out in the flood lights, for a Tiki boil...

~hoo ha hoo, tiki tiki~

Viktor: Or drink from a tin can that's full of oil!

~hoo ha hoo, tiki tiki~

Here in, Viktor's Tiki Land!

~hoo ha hoo, tiki tiki~

You can play all day, in the Tiki dome

~hoo ha hoo, tiki tiki~

Then dance all night, on the Tiki chrome

~hoo ha hoo, tiki tiki~

Viktor: Don't matter to me 'cause... 'cause I'm CRAZY, man!

~hoo ha hoo, tiki tiki~

Here in, Viktor's Tiki Land!

~hoo ha hoo, tiki tiki~

Unfortunately at that moment, Blitzcrank got a point in his ult which caused static electricity to travel into the sky via thunder clouds, come back down in Demacia and turn Galio into a french fry before bouncing into the ocean and traveling all around Valoran and ultimately to Viktor's top secret Tiki island where it then triggered a chemical reaction with Viktor's oil which then blew up the entire island and sent Viktor hurtling into space because science! (According to Heimerdinger's 87th law of reverse thermodynamics).

Viktor sighed as he floated through space on the other side of the galaxy, knowing it was too good to be true. He took out his My Little Pony ™cell phone and called Rumble to pick him up.

*Back at GLOURIOSE EVALOOTION inc*

Now that his Tiki vacation home was ruined, Viktor could only think of one thing to do on his time off: peep on girls. "Computer", he said, looking at the huge monitor on the wall, "Initiate peeping program informational summary 22".

Meaningless green text flashed across a black background on the monitor and the computer responded in a feminine robotic voice, "Access denied"

"WTF, I built and programmed you myself why the hell don't I have access?!" Viktor replied getting rather annoyed.

"Access is not granted to perverted idiots".

"Fuck this, I have to do EVERYTHING myself don't I?! I'm on fucking vacation dammit!" Viktor shouted at the monitor as he copied and pasted a link to a picture of a penis into the console commands before storming off to his lab.

-Flashback-

Viktor sat around a table along with many other Zaunian scientists with a very disgusting corpse on it that was broken in more places than one and was most certainly dead. Viktor stood up and spoke to everyone in the room.

"Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first disgustingly weird robot-crab man. Urgot will be that man. Better than he was before. Greener...uglier...fatter. Let's get to work shall we?"

-End of flashback-

That was Viktor's first step in creating improved lifeforms. After he made Blitzcrank, the first true robot, someone stole the credit for his work and Viktor sank into a deep depression, ending in him turning himself into a half-machine.

Viktor exited the needlessly long and complicated security hallway (think of Get Smart theme song) and made his way into his lab. The lab was pretty much a sea of metal contraptions, wires, computers, and weapons of mass apocalyptic destruction. In the center of the humongous room was a large table, the same one on which he had built Urgot and Blitcrank, which now held a very dead Teemo.

Viktor had gone all the way to the Kumungu Jungles to recover the body and had studied its invisibility properties to revolutionize his peeping technology. The X-Ray vision was a breeze, he had perfected that ages ago, the only problem was that everyone usually hurried in the opposite direction whenever Viktor showed his face anywhere.

After analyzing Teemo's body for awhile, Viktor made a breakthrough and began downloading the necessary programs for implementing a stealth mechanic into his body. After quickly building the parts needed and installing all the required software, Viktor strapped himself onto his stool, pressed the green button and put himself into sleep mode while his machines did their work.

*many hours later at the IOW*

Viktor waited impatiently as the Super Sexy Champions Super Model Show was about to begin. His invisibility allowed him to get close to the action, (as in 2 feet from the stage close) and the announcers voice came over the courtyard. "Attention audience, the Super Sexy Champions Super Model Show has officially begun!"

Viktor preemptively zoomed in his X-Ray vision as the first contestant turned the corner, only to end up vomiting up 10 gallons of oil as Gragas stepped on the stage and preformed his signature belly dance.

"Ok that was very very very unpleasant, but hang in there it will all be worth it soon" Viktor reassured himself quietly, making sure to zoom out of his X-ray vision.

Gragas stepped off the stage, much to the crowd's content, and the next contestant waited behind the curtains for quite some time. Viktor could see her shadow, it was tall and thin, and Viktor's patience was shortening. Was it Leblanc? Nidalee? Maybe even Ahri? Viktor couldn't wait any longer as he zoomed in his X-ray vision to be rewarded the the beautiful body that belonged to... Draven?

After many more minutes of oil vomiting and brain plunging, Viktor finally put his head up as Draven was forced off the stage. He was unsure whether or not he had the will to try again. The shadow of the next contestant came across the curtain. It was round and fat, so Viktor immediately dunked his head into the bucket of oil vomit by his feet and drowned out the cheers as Urgot took the stage. Wait why would anyone be cheering for Urgot...

Viktor quickly sprung back up but alas, he only got a glimpse at the rear end of Sejuani's boar as she rode it backstage. Much to everyone's astonishment, Viktor un-stealthed in front of the stage, seething with rage.

"You know what? I'm done. I'm fucking done. You all go enjoy your fucking show, I'll be wiping my entire fucking memory if any of you fucking need me" Viktor said as he chucked his bucket of oil puke into the audience.

"Hey I paid good money for this suit you know!" someone yelled from the audience. Viktor simply projected an image of his hand pointing his middle finger up in front of the stage as he jet-packed into the sunset.

* * *

><p>and there we go!<p>

wonderful job Tabby hope everyone enjoyed his work, if anyone else wants to do something like this where u write in this little universe I am forming around this story, PM me about it i'm happy to help you get your work out if you can't post it on here on your own(these fan specials are T rated write accordingly).

-Hunter, really unproductive at writing since all the time...


	3. Chapter 3

Fan Special #3

"Dark Snowfall"

-A Snowdown Voidling special-

Hiya wonderful audience that I totally didn't ditch -clears throat-

well good news is I'm not dead just lazy, but today I got something that hopefully will make up for the long hiatus! May I present some friends of mine who will be co-writing (and advisory editing suggestions etc) with me for this one :D

HoneyBadgerDC: "sup chicken mcnigglets"

[ u/4668672/HoneyBadgerDC]

Saphera LaCroix: "Why am I here again? Oh..HAI 3"

[ u/6064541/SapheraLaCroix]

Alsodef: "Hy" - Alsodef 2014" - The Sheriff of Piltover

[ u/5700420/Alsodef]

And a special thanks to Croziff for the motivational review and PM's, I wasn't gonna be coming back for another while otherwise, but now that I am I got the inspiration to get this rolling again!

Well if this turns out as fun for you all as it was to write it all together then win win!

without further ado! We present to you a merry Snowdown

(be safe, buy a ward, save a life)

Once in a while comes a time of joy, of love for your family and for your friends, love of the ones you meet on the road of life and love for the ones you may never come face to face with. This time of year is called snowdown, a time blanketed in a cool white frost from the north, bringing forth a special allure to the night sky as little crystalline flakes highlight the main attraction the event. Gift giving to friend and foe, a general acceptance of each other even for a little while.

It is here that a ragtag group of individuals come together (under order of the higher up summoners) to spread the cheer to some of the champions who can't see it themselves.

"Why do we have to go around handing out these brightly colored boxes of… joy… *shivers*" Kha'zix complained as the Void gang made their way to the the Summoner wing of the IOW.

"Well since we kinda were at fault for those uh… explosions we were issued community service hours, and this counts as some hours" Malzahar replied

"*grumbling sounds* Koggy Hungry-" Kog'Maw whine'd

"Shush" Cho'gath quickly interrupted as he stuffed Koggy's mouth with random food from the "Koggy lunchbox" strapped to his back.

"I Quite like this time of year, these small crystalline flakes cease to amaze me with their precarious patterns" Vel'Koz stated.

"chirp chirp chirp!" Gregory and Anthony squeaked in agreement, licking up the little flakes

Suddenly, the snowflakes grew thicker. The air much colder also. From behind the group, a loud saw sounded, along with the sound of large wings flapping.

" Must you insult us Birds that way, child?" An icy eagle like bird looked down upon Gregory and Anthony. Folding in her wings and glaring down at the two with her crimson eyes.

"chirp…"

"hello Anivia how are you on this fine icy evening?" Malzahar greeted the Cryophoenix like he would any other; A harsh glare and force of habit sarcasm.

"What brings you here Miss Phoenix, and I must ask could you tune down the icy winds, koggy over here is becoming a kogsticle by the second" Cho'gath ventured all the while trying to warm Kog'Maw.

" Cold, as usual. The Queens are fighting again, and I've been asked to attend this..event, or whatever you may call it." Anivia replied to him, looking down towards the two creatures, adjusting herself, the air seems to turn normal again. " Why are we all here, anyway?"

"Well We have community hours to serve, so they are making us bring the Snowdown spirit to all of those who need it most, so we are going to go receive the list of 'who's naughty and needs to be nice', I do believe The queens will be on our list if your would wish to accompany us around the grounds for this evening my dear" Vel'koz began circling the Phoenix with a special glint in his eye, a look that a scientist gets when they gaze upon a marvel never before beheld.

"I will… can you not squid? But, no I will deal with them myself, you can mark them off if you wish, and sorry Kog'maw for the frigid air" With that Anivia flew off into the light storm.

. . .

"Hello miss could you point us- Kassadin?" Malzahar halted suddenly, at the secretary desk sat Kassadin in a suit and tie over his usual attire along with a large blonde wig and state of the art 'Totally not Blitzcrank' glasses.

"HAHA! got you red handed You disgusting Abominations- and Anivia? Don't fret Cryophoenix I shall rescue you from these kidnap- birdnap'ers!" Kassadin declared, lunging out at the group. Somewhere a mad robotic scientist hit his "retrofy" switch, spilling his Oilcapachino all over his new evil death ray.

-cue retro emerald battle music-

A wild Kassadin has appeared!

(Kass = 1337/1337 hp)

Malzahar chooses Kog'maw

(Kog = 250/250 hp)

Kog'maw's ability lowered Kassadin's Speed for 3 turns

Malzahar tried to use Run, It Failed!

Kassadin used House MD brand "Bottle o'Pills", His Bitch Slapping Skills are now over 9000!

Kog'maw used acidic fart!

It is not very effective…

-Kassadin loses 1 hp-

Kassadin used Rift Slap!

But Wait!, Theres More!:

Critical Strike?!

Its Super Effective!

MLG PRO?!

Noscope?!

Something Something Darkside Toast!?

-Kog'maw loses 250 hp-

Malzahar chooses Kha'zix!

(Kha = 285/285 hp)

Kha'zix used Stabby Stabby!

It is not very strong anymore?!

-Kassadin loses 4 hp-

Kassadin used Stupid Shielding Shit!

It fucking hurts like hell!

Kassadin's Secret Passive activated!

-cue 4 random champs suddenly coming to help him beat up one fucking person-

Boomheadshot!

a EZzy Ulty

Press R Karth

Lux.

It is Ultra effective!?

-Kha'zix loses 285 hp-

Malzahar chooses Cho'gath!

(Cho = 750/750 hp)

Kassadin used Full Build!

I didn't one shot him?!

-Cho'gath loses 500 hp-

Cho'gath used Wombo Combo!

AP Cho is still awesome!

-Kassadin loses 200 hp!-

Kassadin used Killjoy Spray!

That bastard!

-Cho'gath loses 250 hp-

Malzahar chooses Vel- uh… where did Vel'koz go?...

Vel'koz floats towards the elevator.

Malzahar chooses Crab Army!

He Went AD!

Malzahar used Suppression Depression!

He has a lot of space aids and a side of crab with that order!

-Kassadin loses 500 hp!-

Kassadin used Reverse Vomit Magic!

Oh No! Malzahar's Secret passive activated!

'Kassadin Patches' came into effect!

Its super effective!

Kassadin is now shit for a few more patches!

-Kassadin faints-

-cue victory music-

"I woulda won too if it wasn't for you meddling monsters!"

[lul oh the references :D it is nice to be back]

"... What… The… Literal… Fuck… wha- why are you here at this desk?- Why do you have a wig on?!" Malzahar facepalmed

"Well serving community hours, saving the world counts as a free ticket plus on the house at the Rusty Rumble" Kassadin brushed his self off and removed the wig and glasses.

"What did you do to get community hours?"

"Uh… kinda… kind of um- you know uh…- I tried to purge Teemo of his Satanic ways… and he may have exploded all over the gardens-"

"You asshat!- I mean uh what gardens…" Kha'zix blurted out

"...? Actually never mind, You have bested me for now; You shall pass" Admittedly Against it, Kassadin let The group pass with no further harassment, he had more important things to do! Like punch a evil robotic scientist!

The group met up with Vel'koz who had been chatting with Grand Summoner Austin Del Socrates III

[because names]

[also Nevercake/Sky reference]

"And I said to him: 'Vel… Cuz!' *deep floating eye laughing*" Vel'koz finished his tale as the group made their way over from the elevator.

"Ah there you all are! Seem my new secretary kept you waiting?" Del joked, opening his office up for them to come sit er.. float in some cases.

"can I get you anything?"

"No Thanks Del, We just need that list-" Malzahar started but was shushed rather fast by some summoner magic, granting him a new costume altogether, a snazzy full set of tundra gear, with a mask and all!

The Rest of the group got a change of wardrobe as well, Vel'koz sporting a large scarf and 3 poros for his upper eyes, Kha got a dark candy cane look, Koggy in his red nosed attire, and Cho in a Santa costume.

"Well then… This is a look now isn't it old chap!" Cho snapped merrily.

"I try, Anywho here your list and you better be checking it twice, to find out who's been naughty and needs to be nice " Del started singing as he started the teleportation magic before they could question him.

Oh the weather outside is frightful, and so dark like nightmares, but some people can't help to feel the snowdown cheer

. . .

After spilling his oilcapachino all over his new project, and pressing his retrofy button, let alone being beaten senseless by an enraged overweight woman with a mustache and glasses; Naturally you can't fight back against that kind of thing its a force of nature too strong to even comprehend, kinda like how they get so many mini chickens into a bag of wings.

Viktor had decided to just up and go to the cafeteria for a replacement drink, but as fate would have it Santa and his misfit elves(?) would land on his parade - literally.

"Okay so who is first on the list Cho?" Malz asked as they all crashed through the ceiling.

"It does seem we owe Viktor a trip first, now where could he be?" Cho asked looking around, not noticing Viktor was flattened into his back, to everyone's amusement.

"He's on your back Cho" Kha'zix said after everyone finished their chuckle.

"Yes… I he does seem to be-" Cho peeling him off and snapping him back into shape, then handing him a snickers to make him feel better, "So Viktor it seems you have been naughty this year and we have been tasked with setting you straight!"

"Oh really? How do you plan to do that-" Viktor back sassed only to be slapped with a rubber chicken from Malzahar.

"...did you just-" Viktor started stunned slightly only to be slapped again.

"-ok what the hell-" Viktor got slapped a 3rd time.

"I don't think its working Malzahar…" Cho started

"Look Cho he's turning red! like my nose!" Koggy giggled

"I'm out, see you guys later" Vel'koz floated away in a hurry

"Maybe Vel-" Kha started as Viktor grabbed him by the throat and released a swarm of his Storm Bots Mk II's on the group, and started shooting beams of pure epic lazer-ness as he chased them around the IOW [cue scooby doo chase].

"Viktor you make me so proud sometimes *sniffles* Ok to the salad bar I got different colored leafs to scan!" Vel'koz declared from the sidelines.

. . .

"Ok… since we lost Vik, Whos next on the list?" Malzahar asked panting

"Veigar" Cho stated with a slight look of concern, Veigar was about 20 meters away from them at the window trying to do evil snow magic.

"... welp" Malz said, then floating over to veigar. The group watched horrified as Veigar look at him and Malzahar exploded into a poro shaped cloud of snow… Then he look over at them.

. . .

After collecting themselves from that the group made their way to The Champion Quarters.

"... please tell me the next one isn't going to murder us" Kha'zix pleaded, to no avail.

"next is Teemo…" Cho read aloud, then marked off the name and went to the next one, "Swain and Fiddle are the next two"

"hmm… wait thats easy! Lets just get them together and-... uh guys? where'd you go?... Chaps?" Cho called out.

"Piss This is going to end horribly, seems it is all up to me now!" Cho stated with a sudden pride, strapping on his beard Cho charged forth with one goal in mind: To bring all a good night.

Some champions don't believe in Santa Claus, maybe because they can't believe in anything anymore in a world like runeterra, but on this one night something special happened…

For once all were not grudgingly glaring at each other across the room, or making snide comments… for once all had one goal in mind: To kick The Void gangs asses for disturbing their peace.

"Please not in the face!"

"Koggy no like knuckle sandwiches!"

"I like my claws undented please"

"Chirp!

"GG no re, RIPoni in pepperoni stacks"

"STOP THIS!" Called out a powerful boom, A voice of power normally held under control from a single floating eye.

"Look at yourselfs! Look at this… For once you all are working together! admittedly to beat these beast and prophet into submission - But! You have put aside your differences for the sake of a better cause! All because they are a band of complete morons, They finally have done something worth noteworthy achievement!" Vel'koz Boomed calming the crowd of angry champions.

"hey!-"

"Now sure they have disturbed your peace and quiet, But today you have come together as one! and this is worth it all!" Vel'koz declared only to get a lot of angry faces.

"-And drinks on me tonight!" Vel added, earning a cheer from everyone in the crowd. The crowd then carrying him to the Rusty Rumble Pub.

"Well then… You all owe Vel a favor for that save, and Gj on the task! I do believe that gets you out of about a third of your hours, I'll meet up with you guys when I got something for you again… and happy snowdown guys" Del teleported in to say, while snacking on a cookie.

[who did who]

georgia - Aniva (damn good if i do say so myself!)

hunter - the rest

Badger and Gjalt - inspirations from their specials our many hilarious conversations!

Well its not much but here's my gift to you guys as always thanks for the support even when i ditched the site entirely for deviantart and whatnot :D

should be doing a redo of chapter 9+ soon and then back to new stuff!

-Hunter Santa chocolate crack addict since… uh… yeah… _


End file.
